A Chat with the Tax Man

Task man said, “I am extremely happy that many of my relatives are in your country, the latest been internet tax.
 “But why are you happy when my people hate you and they wish they had a way of getting rid of you,” I asked.
He chuckles and taps my shoulder, “look, wherever you go many of my kinds are introduced and your minister has brought back sales tax, another name for VAT.”
“How unfair, so you are happy to torture poor people like this?” I asked.
“You are adding so many burdens to people who are financially disadvantaged already.”
He looks at me with sharp eyes, “you are right, but let me give you a proper definition of tax unlike what you are taught in school.”
He continued,” tax is money that is collected from citizens so that the politicians never die of starvation.”
“But politicians already have disposable income,” I interjected.
“Who said so? Because after they increase their salaries, they still complain that the money is not enough,” He replied.
“See, that’s why they love people like you who are young and energetic: Because you will work harder every passing day so that they can come and get most of your earnings in form of tax.”
He continued, “These guys are really obsessed with tax and that is the reason why they even arrest you for attempting suicide. They know how much money you can give them until you expire due to old age.”
“Your minister a few weeks ago presented your national budget; do you know that the word tax appeared more than the word economy? That’s how much important we are.”
I bit my tongue as he continues to speak.
“And your country has only a few of us, then why all these cries?” He asked.
I replied,” I mentioned earlier on that most of us are not rich, have mercy on us.”
He scans my eyes and says, “My friend, you can’t survive the tax system in the western world. Imagine the federal government collecting about 100 taxes annually from you, not to mention the various taxes a state imposes on you.”
“What kind of taxes makes that list?” I asked.
“Inheritance tax, climate change levy even if you own no industry,” He replied.

Fellows from that side take us serious because you can easily get arrested if you fail to comply.
“Do you remember Wesley?” He asked.
I replied,” Yes, I was a big fan of his vampire movies.”
They never cared how much entertainment he brought, he was thrown behind bars.
He added, “And your favourite footballer.”
“Come on you mean, Leo?” I asked.
“He is only a magician on the pitch; the spell failed to perform on a tax man otherwise he was going to get caged,” He replied.
“My friend, just tighten up your belts because slowly but sure, my specie will flood your payslips and if you choose to remain out of employment, we have a way to access your wallet.”